JULY TOP TEN LIST
Top Ten Problems With Jefferson's July 4 Celebration
10. Best part was when bug zapper fell in the pool
9. Several personal injury attorneys working the crowd
8. Ladies serving food all looked like Ernest Borgnine
7. People kept spitting watermelon seeds at you
6. That wasn't mayonnaise in the cole slaw
5. A couple guys kept yelling "ka-boom"
4. Microwave oven in concession stand deactivated your mom's pacemaker
3. Fireworks show consisted of third graders with sparklers
2. Myron Floren didn't wear his teeth
1. It started at noon
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