NOVEMBER TOP TEN LIST
Reasons Not to Have Your Thanksgiving in Jefferson
10. You will have to buy all of your booze from Casey's
9. Meal may consist of leftovers from last Thanksgiving
8. Roasted raccoon instead of turkey
7. Parents will insist on dressing up like pilgrims again
6. Will have to watch football on 21" Motorola
5. All of your in-laws will ask you for a job
4. After-dinner sluggishness caused by salmonella
3. Turkey may actually be family dog
2. The thing you are most thankful for is leaving
1. Uncle carves turkey with a shiv