The Jefferson Iowa News®

 

  WHAT'S WRONG WITH GOING TO HEAVEN??

I get madder than Anita Bryant at a softball tournament every time I hear about some old codger spending hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars in a feeble attempt to prolong his pathetic life!! These so-called "God-fearing" Christians claim they believe in heaven. They tell you that they will live for trillions of years in perfect bliss upon their death. So what do they do? They fight death tooth-and-nail!!

Nobody dreads death as much as religious people. It's a fact! Ask some one at your next prayer group if they want to go rock climbing. See what I mean! They might get KILLED!! Oh, wait - then they would be in heaven, right? They obviously don't believe in heaven themselves! Medicare expenditures are literally through the roof. Maybe even unsustainable. All in an effort to keep these people out of heaven!

Find some one who believes in heaven. That is some one who has a tremendous fear of dying. Heaven offers them the opportunity NOT TO DIE. They will spend their entire life trying to get into HEAVEN. Then, when the time comes, they will do everything in their power to stay alive and not go there!! What a bunch of morons! People who don't believe in heaven don't seem to share the same fear of death. They just figure that every living thing dies. They have watched plants, animals, and people die. They're just gone.

If you believe you're going to heaven, then go there, for cripes' sake! Don't keep prolonging your life, opting to live here on earth, often even in pain, when eternal bliss awaits you. You don't seem to realize what a hypocrite this makes you appear to be!

Take the quiz below, and find out exactly where you're headed, you moron!

Link - Lying on this quiz won't get you into heaven, either!!

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Orville K. Bass, American


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