Scores of Jefferson residents have been inspired by our achievements at the recent Olympic Games in China. Local committees have been formed, and businesses have been asked to lead the way in a city-wide effort to promote physical fitness and healthy diets.
Swimmer
and gold-medalist Michael Phelps has particularly inspired interest in
swimming as an ongoing exercise for all citizens, young and old alike.
The photo at left shows several young Jeffersonians hoping to some day
duplicate the feats of Mr. Phelps.But swimming is merely a small part of the effort. Diet is just as important as exercise and local groups and businesses are all pitching in, hoping to encourage a healthy change in lifestyles for all of Jefferson's citizens.
An overabundance of physical activity at the community center has unfortunately led to the deaths of three senior citizens. Because of this, people were asked to submit their ideas for a more gradual slimming down of the population. The following programs are currently being put into place around the Jefferson area:
Uptown Cafe - The "all you can eat" buffet has been replaced with an "all you can eat in 30 minutes" buffet
Fareway - No more "carry out" service
School Board - School lunches will have to fit on one plate
Catholic Church - No more "meals on wheels"
Casey's - Will no longer deep fat fry candy bars
Bunker's Dunkers - Limit two dozen donuts per customer
Wet Goods - Back to "bar and drinks only" format
Raccoon Valley Golf Course - Golf carts not allowed off pathways
City of Jefferson - Stop lights will stay green for a shorter length of time, making people walk faster
Lutheran Church - Only thin people will be allowed to take communion
Chinese Restaurant - New vegetarian menu features produce and insects
The idea for greater utilization of county parks failed, as they were deemed to be just too far away.
Rick Bland, 09-26-2008