Once again, trick-or-treating has been cancelled by city ordinance for the 2008 Halloween season. This will be the 23rd year in a row that city fathers have found it necessary to take this measure.
Although
the recent influx of undead throughout the city and vampire sightings in
area parks may have been a contributing factor, the core reason for the
cancellation remains the fact that Halloween is officially considered to
be a Satanic holiday by the city of Jefferson.The holiday will not pass without other, traditional observances, however. Kids are invited to participate in the annual fall dance at the high school, provided they do not leave their cars and walk around after dark.
Also, three witches will be burned at the stake this Saturday night at 8:00PM in front of the courthouse, as usual. Once again, there will be live music and rides for the kids.
All residents are being asked to travel about only in large groups, as werewolves have been spotted after dark. The mayor stated, "First it rains during RAGBRAI and now werewolves. It's like this town can't catch a break."
If you must travel alone at night, it is suggested that you wear a bright orange vest, preferably bullet-proof, on the off-chance that you may run into Monte Larson.
Spencer Straight, 10-05-2008