JEFFERSON MAYOR SUPPORTS ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCE

 Sources close to jeffersoniowanews.com confirm that Jefferson is once again on the cutting edge of modern alternative renewable energy. Plans are currently being discussed  which could cut Greene County’s dependence on traditional fuels by nearly 100% within the next five years.

We here at jeffersoniowanews.com fully support these new options and are proud to be the first in the news media to report on them. Mayor Todd Madson of Jefferson could not be reached for comment, but it should be noted that he has not gone on record against these plans. Obviously, it can be surmised that Mr. Madsen is pro-renewable energy, and will indeed endorse this plan. Mr. Madsen is perhaps the most intelligent, progressive mayor in Greene County, and we feel that he is doing an absolutely tremendous job for the city of Jefferson. Do we think he is some sort of alien pod-type lifeform? Sure.  But he is doing a great job as mayor and his wife is also a great supporter of Jefferson.

The new energy plan will call for 15,500 cats kept in a continual state of motion on a large treadmill, the location of which is so far undisclosed. The number of cats involved in this forward thinking project is expected to grow from 15,500 cats in year one to over 1,000,000 cats by the end of the fifth year.

Powerful electric shocks would be administered from the rear of the treadmill, assuring a constant pace.  The amount of electricity used for "electrocution" of the cats will be less than .01% of energy produced.  Making it not only an alternative energy source, but an efficient one.

A sight southeast of Jefferson, near Squirrel Hollow, has been selected as the future sight of a large cat farm, able to produce several hundred kittens per week.  Cats are ultimately more expendable than oil, coal, or natural gas, and will continue to produce power regardless of the weather conditions.

We wish Mayor Madsen much success in this endeavor, and encourage all similar projects. Greene County may very well become Iowa’s first energy self-sufficient area.

UPDATE  --  Todd Madsen has recently been voted out of office, due in large part to his stance on this issue. It was quite controversial, and we here at this site feel he justifiably was held to account for this far-fetched idea.

 bigfoot at lakeside